My Experience With Functioning Depression

All my life I have dealt with anxiety and depression in some form. From mild to suicidal, I’ve run the depression and anxiety gamut. I’ve had panic attacks (two of which cost me a job) and I’ve been Baker Acted twice for suicide. But even with all of that experience, it took me years to figure out that I was dealing with functioning depression (I’d call it high-functioning, but I was functioning on a very low level).Read More »

How Insecurity Ruins Relationships

Relationships can be difficult. They can be beautiful and wonderful, sure, but damn can they be difficult. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we make them harder than they need to be. One of the ways we do that is by making our own problem – something only we can solve – the problem of our partner, too.

Here’s an example from my own life (since that’s what this site is all about, ya know). When my husband and I first started dating I was very insecure. I still don’t have very good self-esteem, but at the time it was completely non-existent. Over the years I have gained some, but it’s a daily battle.

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Me, Too

I’m a bit late here, but today I’m going to share my #MeToo story. If you’re unaware of this campaign, you can see more about it here. Although I’ve dealt with this twice in my life, I’m going to focus on the harassment I received in the workplace. The assault I experienced as a child will be saved for another time.

“If It Were Me, I’d…”

We all think we know how we’d react in any given situation. We have in our minds that if it were us, we’d stick up for ourselves or fight back. And after being assaulted as a child, I swore up and down that I would never let anyone make me feel like that again. I told myself that if someone ever tried to harass or assault me again I would fight back. I’m not a meek person nor do I put up with injustice. However, I’ve found that I’m much better at standing up for others than I am standing up for myself.Read More »

When Doctors Do Harm

I have worked in the medical field for a decade now and in that time I have met some very good doctors. Doctors who are honest, caring and compassionate and who genuinely want to help their patients.

That said, the following two doctors permanently tainted my view of doctors – especially in the mental health field – indefinitely.Read More »

“It Must Be Nice…”

There are a few sayings or phrases that I’m honestly just so tired of hearing, but this one makes the top of the list. Generally, when I hear this phrase it’s directly after I’ve told someone that I work part-time (or, currently am looking for part-time work). It never fails and it doesn’t matter really who I tell it to. When I say that I work 20 hours or so a week, I hear, “Well, it must be nice to not have to work full time.”Read More »

Learning From Failure

I’ve been gone for a while due to some things happening in my life. In the past month I have lost a job, gained a job and then lost that one. I’ve dealt with depression and self-hatred and frustration and pain. I’ve had nervous breakdowns and many, many moments of doubt.

One thing I’ve learned during the last 28 years is that life doesn’t care about your plans or wants or needs. There really is no rhyme or reason to life; it just is. That’s not to say that there is nothing to live for, just that trying to figure out why things happen the way they do is sort of fruitless.Read More »

Situational Introversion

There was a time many moons ago when I was outgoing and extroverted. I could talk to anyone about anything and fit in with any group. I enjoyed getting out of the house and going places and seeing people. Nothing about being in a social situation scared me. Sure, I didn’t like crowds, but back then it was just because I didn’t want to get trampled in the event of a disaster. (That is still a very valid fear of mine, by the way…) That all changed a few years ago.Read More »