In my life I have gone from being poor to poorer, back to poor and then to middle class. Growing up, my family perpetually hovered over the poverty line. All of my clothes were hand-me-downs, as were all of our vehicles (well, except the one that was bought from a junkyard for $50. It wasn’t bad until it left me, my mom and sister on the side of the road). We had a roof over our heads, though, so we were wealthier than some.Read More »
Relationships can be difficult. They can be beautiful and wonderful, sure, but damn can they be difficult. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we make them harder than they need to be. One of the ways we do that is by making our own problem – something only we can solve – the problem of our partner, too.
Here’s an example from my own life (since that’s what this site is all about, ya know). When my husband and I first started dating I was very insecure. I still don’t have very good self-esteem, but at the time it was completely non-existent. Over the years I have gained some, but it’s a daily battle.
I’m a bit late here, but today I’m going to share my #MeToo story. If you’re unaware of this campaign, you can see more about it here. Although I’ve dealt with this twice in my life, I’m going to focus on the harassment I received in the workplace. The assault I experienced as a child will be saved for another time.
“If It Were Me, I’d…”
We all think we know how we’d react in any given situation. We have in our minds that if it were us, we’d stick up for ourselves or fight back. And after being assaulted as a child, I swore up and down that I would never let anyone make me feel like that again. I told myself that if someone ever tried to harass or assault me again I would fight back. I’m not a meek person nor do I put up with injustice. However, I’ve found that I’m much better at standing up for others than I am standing up for myself.Read More »
Growing up, my mother drilled empathy and the ability to put myself in other’s shoes into my head. She also taught me to question myself. Some of her best advice to me was the following:Read More »
Sometimes it’s difficult to focus on the positive when you feel like you’re being inundated with nothing but negative. I know this because I’ve been in that darkness many, many times. Before I met my husband and we got married I was a pretty negative person, and for the most part I had good reason. In the five years that has passed, however, my outlook on life has done a complete turnaround.Read More »
I’m not a parent, but I do understand how difficult parenting is. I’m also aware that it’s not exactly popular for a non-parent to try to advise parents of anything. That said, I am not writing this as a parent, I am writing it as someone who was spoiled rotten and had to learn how to empathize the hard way. I’m writing it from the perspective of someone who knows what it’s like to look back on her actions in shame and guilt.Read More »
There are some aspects of a relationship that are unavoidable. Some are good and others aren’t so great, but they’re going to happen.
Jealousy is one of these. A certain level of jealousy is normal and even healthy at times. When it comes from a place of love and not control, it is a sign that you still care about your partner and don’t want to lose them. If it’s the other way around, however, it’s a sign that you feel that you have some claim on your partner.Read More »
Social media is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it really is great for keeping in touch with people you otherwise wouldn’t see, but on the other hand it can be entirely toxic and bad for one’s mental health.
It’s sort of an unspoken rule that you should only post the good stuff on social media, never the bad stuff. However, if you do post only good things, you’re just “humble bragging” or making up for a crappy life. If you post bad things, you’re attention-seeking or whining. Truly, social media is a paradox in which no one wins.Read More »
As you all may be aware, I am not single. As a matter of fact, I haven’t been single for almost half of my life. I met my husband when we were about 13, we started dating when we were 16 and now we’re 28 and married. I have, however, watched as friends and family have navigated the world of dating and I’ve seen the scars it leaves behind.Read More »